CONsent and Sexual Harassment in Our Culture

So, I'm wondering to myself what I shall write about this week. And it seems that the big topic lately is the "CONsent" movement. Which I'm all for. And I think it's awesome that people are trying to bring awareness to this problem. I have experienced some harassment-- cat calls and such-- but nothing like the horrors I've heard about. I know one close friend of my mind that was getting her photo taken and the creeper told her they could go into a corner and she could flash him. She was so horrified she didn't even know what to say.

I think we can all agree that this kind of thing is really fucked up and should cease immediately. But I don't think it's a problem just within the cosplay community. It is a problem that exists within our entire culture. It is the same kind of attitude as "rape culture." That if a person is dressed in a particular way, they deserve a certain kind treatment. And it may be true, that if someone is wearing something revealing, they may want to be looked at sexually. But it is also true that they can wear those things, and not want that attention. One shouldn't assume what someone else wants or what kind of attention they are trying to get. As far as I know, know one is a mind reader. So saying you "know" what they want-- well, you are full of it. But what we CAN assume, is that no one wants to be raped or sexually harassed. Ever.

I can tell you that when I made my Sailor Moon costume, I didn't think about what sort of attention it might attract. I just wanted to be Sailor Moon and I wanted to portray her accurately. Well, 'accurately' means that my ass hangs out. A whole lot. (And just so everyone knows, I do wear a leotard underneath. And I'm fully aware that everyone can see it.) I guess I'm kind of naive, but I really didn't even give it a second thought. It was accurate. And that's what matters to me. So I was kind of surprised how often people would politely let me know that everyone could see under my skirt. And I am grateful that people are concerned and trying to look out for me. I guess they were worried that I would become a victim of sexual harassment. Which, aside from some whistles, hasn't really happened. And I'm grateful for that too.

Anyway, my point is, I didn't make my SM skirt short because I wanted people to look at my butt. I made it short because her skirt is really short. I don't "want" cat calls. I just want to be Sailor Moon. And I think that's what people are "looking for" when they wear revealing cosplays. They just want to portray that character the best way they can and have fun. That's kind of the point.

So, this isn't a cosplay community problem. This is a cultural problem. And a lot of attitudes need to change in our entire country for this problem to end. Cosplay creepers aren't the cause, they are a symptom of the disease. So if you want to see a difference, get political. Let our country know that this problem isn't acceptable. And make a stand. If you see someone getting harassed, speak up. Step in. I promise, you will be a hero to the person being harassed. I plan on going around the con with an eraser board that says "Cosplay =/= Consent." Because it's a small thing I can do to get the word out about this problem.

And if I see you harassing someone, in the name of moon, I will punish you!

I don't want to go on about this topic for too long. Because a lot of folks have already talked about it, and have made good points more eloquently than I can. So I'll end here. Next week I think I shall do a cosplay interview and lighten the mood a bit.

If you would like to share your experiences and have discussions, please feel free to do so in the comments below!


Edward

Cosplay Bullying: Let's play nice, shall we?

Sorry about the later than usual post. But it is still Monday! So I'm good. XD My husband didn't have to work today and I played Skyrim for a while... needless to say, I had a few distractions. But now my husband has stolen back the Xbox so I can be productive.
 

But anyway, what I wanted to talk about this time is something I think is very important! And something I see that is all too prevalent in the cosplay community. First, let me share a picture with you.

Found on this tumblr

I'm not sure if that tumblr is the actual artist, but that is where I found it.

Cosplay bullying.

This picture really says it all for me. I wanted to post about this topic anyway, but this reminded me. I also wanted to talk about it because, when I shared this picture on my Facebook, a friend of mine told me that she witnessed someone bullying another Sailor Moon and telling them that their cosplay was not as good as my Sailor Moon cosplay. This made me so upset!! I would never cosplay to make someone else feel inferior! And I hope that that girl doesn't feel that she can't cosplay as Sailor Moon because I'm around.

I think we can all agree that bullying is wrong and we shouldn't do it, right? Well, apparently not. Because I see it a lot. Especially on the internet, where people tend to say whatever they like, knowing they will never have to deal with the consequences of their hurtful words.

There are a few situations I'd like to cover.

"Your cosplay isn't accurate."

First off; I'd like to say, if someone is thinking this, they had better be well informed. Because I know of several girls who have cosplayed as lesser known versions of characters from the Sailor Moon series (such as from the MANY musicals, the live action series, or even concept art for the manga) and they have been told they weren't accurate, because they didn't look like the anime version. But actually they were accurate to the thing they were cosplaying. So not only do you look like an asshole, you look like a very ill informed asshole.

Secondly; maybe it's their very first cosplay. Or 2nd. Or 3rd. We all have to start somewhere. And I'm sure if you look back at your first, you shudder with embarrassment that you ever wore it to a con. 

Thirdly; maybe that's the best they could do! Not everyone can spend hundreds of dollars on a cosplay. Some people may not even have $10. Also, maybe they just don't have the skill. Maybe they aren't very good at sewing or altering and they can't afford to have it commissioned, but they still want to dress up. Are we supposed to say "You aren't good/rich enough to cosplay"? I think that's terrible.

And another thing; maybe they are doing a cosplay of a particular piece of fan art or one of their own designs. I have a friend that did fan art of a character she loves, but with a slightly different outfit, and people were always telling her it was "wrong." But it wasn't, because she was basing it off of her own fan art. And who says one can't be creative with cosplay? That's the whole point of cosplaying....

Also; it's all interpretation. It many cases, there are several ways one might interpret a characters costume. Perhaps they saw it in a different way than you. An example is, Sailor Moon's skirt. I've seen many versions people have done of the pleats. Some going the same direction all the way around. Some going opposite directions on each side with a box pleat in the middle. Some with an inverted pleat in the middle. It's all interpretation. Because in most cases, anime/comic book/game character are drawn in outfits that don't work in real life, so you have to do the best you can with the physics that exist on Earth.

Lastly; in my experience, the people who have said something not so nice about my cosplay, weren't even WEARING cosplay. So maybe they are trying to nit pick other people's work, because they feel inferior about their own skills. Which is really the reason bullying happens in the first place. Or maybe you just think you're so awesome at cosplay, that no one can complete with your mad skills.

"You are too fat/skinny/tall/short/large busted/small busted/not muscled enough/wrong skin tone(etc.) to do that cosplay"

I'm sorry, but I don't think anyone ONLY likes characters they physically resemble. So because someone may not look like a character, they aren't aloud to express their love of a character through cosplay? "Oh, that fat Sailor Moon ruined the character for me!" Grow up. Instead of focusing on a cosplay you didn't care for, focus on one you loved. And is your love for the character so shallow that you only care about their appearance? I'd like to know what world these bullies live in, where every cosplayer (or would be cosplayer) is attractive and perfectly proportioned. All body types are aloud to have fun and be creative, last time I checked.

Instead of being an asshole, trying being helpful. If you can't be helpful, then be quiet.

"Your cosplay sucks!!" 

How does this help anyone? It only hurts someone. How can they know what to fix if they are just told it sucks? Try giving them some constructive criticism. Tell them areas they may improve on. But FIRST make sure your opinion is even wanted. Some people are hurt easily be criticism, even if it's done with good intentions. I always wait to be asked for advice before giving it.

If you simply MUST tell them where they went wrong, point out some good qualities about their cosplay before you point out the bad things. Some example sentences:

"You really should have made the skirt this way, and put darts in the bodice, and done the wig like this." WRONG!

"I really like the way you did the collar! If it had been me, I would have made the skirt this way."
RIGHT!


If (in your opinion) you just can't see any redeeming qualities about a cosplay, and you have no helpful advice to give, then just BE QUIET! Let's take a lesson from Thumper; "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Should we not have learned this when we were 5? If you feel the need to go around making other people feel bad about themselves, you have some serious emotional issues and need to seek professional help. I'm serious. If all the bullies talked to a shrink and found out what their problem was, our world would be a lot better off.

And for the victims of cosplay bullying, try your very best to ignore it. I know it's hard. But try to focus on the good and not the bad. Whatever you do, DON'T STOP COSPLAYING! Then that bully has just won! They have no right to tell you you aren't aloud to be who you are and express yourself the way you want. Those people obviously have issues if they are treating people like that, and that's not your fault. You keep cosplaying and show that bully that you aren't afraid of them!


So, to close, I just want to remind everyone, that cosplay should be about HAVING FUN! And about sharing our love for all things nerdy with our fellow nerds. Let's all play nice and have a good time. After all, I thought that was the point.


Love always,
Edward